Find The First Installment In My Story Here.
In the spring of 2012, February to be exact, I came to Florida. I still honestly have no idea how it was even possible because when I say I was poor… I mean dirt poor, living in a horrible place, broken heater we couldn’t afford to fix, very little food and there I was on a ten-day trip to Florida that myself, and my two roommates of the time, (being my ex-husband and ex-fiance) all thought was a good idea.
They had combined their money to buy me new clothes for this trip so I would hopefully feel more human and I had gotten my hair done too. I think they both felt bad for all I’d been through at the cost of each of them, but whatever the reason, there I was feeling a little like Cinderella going to the ball. I didn’t have the money to go into Disney World, but I booked three nights at the cheapest hotel on property, The All Star Sports, because I at least had to soak up the atmosphere. After that, I figured I’d find someplace cheaper in town. Plus. the man that I was going to be meeting had mentioned once or twice I could stay with him, but I really wasn’t sure about that.
My ex-husband was due to get paid the same day I had to check out of Disney and he said he’d put money on my bank card so I could stay somewhere else and continue to eat. The man I was coming to meet had already told me he was going to be working a lot (something that I later learned was the norm for him) so I was going to be on my own a lot.
A part of me, when I took this crazy leap, honestly wasn’t sure I’d ever be a real person again. I think I wanted the Florida trip as the last fun thing I ever did before I died. And I’m not being overly dramatic, that’s where my life had led me. That was my truth at the time. But my whole story is a testament to God and his redemption.
You see, I had just gone through the worst three years of my life. I’d been under so much stress, I was a walking zombie. So dead inside, I’m not even sure I realized how much so when I got on that plane, but by the time I was headed home, my entire world had changed.
I headed off to Florida with only enough money to eat once a day, IF I ate cheap, and only those first three nights paid for and I trusted God for the rest!
I think in some respects, I took the trip because my relationship with the sexy European was starting to wane. He wasn’t an online relationship type of man and I think I just wanted to meet him once face to face before we went our separate ways. He’d already given me so much, I couldn’t imagine never having looked into his eyes. So I up and said, I’m going to Disney World!
In hindsight though, I see so much Divine chess playing going on during this time in my life. Things I wouldn’t even recognize for years later were setting me up for everything that’s happening in my life today. WatchingGod work like that set up a foundation for the years to follow. When I look back at all this, I can’t even believe I lived through what had happened or that I’d somehow found the courage to go on this crazy trip. I still remember to this day how broken I felt. I never want to be like that again. I never want to be so deeply broken and depressed that you nearly stop being human, but that experience is one of the biggest reasons I do what I do now, because I need to help others find their light, fight their fight, and move on in this life.
So there I was in the Sanford Airport trying to be calm, about to meet this man face to face for the first time. He said he’d pick me up and take me to my hotel, and that he’d make sure I got back to the airport at the end of my trip and that was all he could promise. I had already learned that when he gave his word, he was serious about it. Of course, that mostly meant he wouldn’t give his word for much, but I always liked that about him, to be honest.
I wasn’t really sure what to expect because while he told me repeatedly he was very interested in being with me, he also told me he had an issue with my weight and I wasn’t sure he’d be attracted to me once we met in person.
Of course, he also assured me more than once, if I met him in person, we’d be naked within the hour and I should be prepared for that. That man… you’d call him arrogant, but then he’d say, “It isn’t arrogance if it’s true” in a very sexy accent might I add and I found myself not able to argue with him. lol
He was such a learning process for me, I had never met anyone like him. He opened my mind and heart to new possibilities, his issues with my weight, had me losing weight for the first time in decades, but at that point, I had no idea what to expect. I’m at the airport, with my very first cell phone (everyone freaked when they found out I was meeting a man who I’d only spoken with online and they made me get one) and I’m texting back and forth with him as he’s been held up.
I sat in the airport for probably an hour but it was very peaceful. I watched people come and go and I journaled. I prayed to be normal again, not the broken shell of a person that I was then. It was really the first time in years I’d been completely by myself with no one wanting or needing anything from me.
It was sort of beautiful.
Plus there was a lot of Florida memorabilia in the airport, so I took all that in as I could still hardly believe I was there.
Eventually, he texts me that he’s at the airport and asks what gate I’m at. Well, I didn’t know. I told him B because I saw a big B on the wall, but when I walked outside, I realized I was at A. It’s not a large airport, but still, I’m frantically texting A… it’s A… when someone walks up behind me and smacks me on the ass!
No one has ever done that to me in my life and I was more than a little shocked.
I turned around and stared into the eyes of this man and all I remember thinking, was that I’d found home. The sensation that washed over me made me know everything was perfect. It was exactly as it was always meant to be.
If I could give anyone reading this just one encouragement, don’t try to make sense out of the spiritual. It will make sense when it does and not one second before. 😉
He kissed me before I could even say anything but after that kiss, I really couldn’t say anything. I’d never been kissed like that. It was the most magical thing I’d ever experienced and I just had this flash of all I’d been through and where I was and thought how damn good God truly is.
He gave me some teasing about being at the wrong gate and then led me to his convertible, kissing me several more times on the way to the car. It was a thirty minute or so drive from the airport to Disney, but picture this, here’s this girl who left the cold of Virginia that morning, from a place with no heat, where I’d just gone through a traumatic experience the year before and had no friends, or life, and there I was in a convertible, top down, breeze blowing through my hair, palm trees, sexy man pointing out high points along the way, all the while with his hand on my leg.
There was no denying we had chemistry unlike anything I’d ever felt, but he made me so nervous, I could barely speak. I felt so… I don’t know, inadequate I think. He was this sexy, handsome, European, with money, a convertible, and more charisma than any man I’d ever been that close to and I was at a loss for how to deal with it.
We got to my hotel and I checked in. He brought my things to the curb and kissed me again. Then asked if I wanted him to come up.
Of course I knew what that meant and hell YES I wanted him to come up, but I’d been such a good girl all my life. At that point in time I’d been with two men, one of them for nearly twenty years and here he was essentially asking if, on the day we met, I wanted to f&c* him.
The shocking part was that I did!
But I wasn’t sure I was allowed to feel that way and even if feeling that way was allowed, acting on it couldn’t be… right?
He was such a gentleman and though he did kiss me again, he didn’t push.
I caved thirty seconds later anyway.
I felt safe with him and in the back of my head, this was still my last ten days of living before I went back to Virginia to fade away.
I won’t shock you with all the details of the next few hours of my life, but I will tell you every second of them was incredibly memorable. When he finally left… after kissing me and whispering in my ear, I told you, you and I would be naked within an hour, to which I feigned shock, I couldn’t stop smiling the entire rest of the night.
I remember sitting in my Disney hotel room, having had the best sex of my life with a man I felt a real genuine soul connection with and thinking that my life wasn’t ending, in truth, it had just started… and I was damn sure going to make that be true!
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